Hump Helper #7: Rumors at Rest and the Spirit of the Radio

Don’t fret if you haven’t scored a Wii for your wee ones yet. No need to worry if your pickle ham roll-ups gave the entire office salmonella. You still better not pout, you better not cry. Your weekly Wednesday Hump Helper will tell you why.

First let’s put some rumors to bed with visions of libel suits dancing in their heads:

Despite many inquiries, I didn’t buy this bottle of scotch.

But I’m not saying someone didn’t buy it for me. I have been good this year. Very good.

Per my lawyers’ requests, I’m not commenting on Jessica Alba’s pregnancy until the DNA tests come back. The fact I was recently in Baby Gap with a sunglasses wearing brunette is purely coincidental.

Now let’s dial in some non-holiday tuneage.

Topping the charts is Jon Lajoie busting out a rap for every everyday normal guy out there.

Secondly, the Onion has conveniently compiled a list of the worst band names of 2007. Many of them stink worse than Britney’s last comeback tour. Why they didn’t name themselves something cool like Crunchy By Mistake or Smells Like Birthday is beyond me. But a free pint to the first person to correctly point out the Minnesota-bred band(s) on the list.

What are you waiting for? It’ll be Thursday before you know it.

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6 responses to “Hump Helper #7: Rumors at Rest and the Spirit of the Radio

  1. Sure, I’ll play:

    Gay Witch Abortion
    Coach Said Not To (which I’ve always loved as a band name)
    Mel Gibson and the Pants

    Many of those are really bad, but some are outstanding.

  2. damn! how did you find out about the scotch? i was going to surprise you tonight but i guess now that you know, i’ll have to return that (does Christie’s have a return policy?) and get you something else…

  3. As one who played in a band called Disastrous Partridge & The Seven year Whistle, I really don’t feel I can comment.

  4. What about Satallite Pine Tree

  5. you missed a hump helper. i’m still stuck here on this, the 4th hump of december.

    *weep*

  6. Nobody’s working this week, so I figured it’d be a low-altitude hump that wouldn’t need any assistance to get over. Especially with all that ho-ho-ho-mentum from your secret Santa.

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